VexelLaugh Christmas Series: Sir Confusio Vs the Christmas Mouse Pie (Naija Edition)
🎉🙋Welcome...
Christmas Day in Lagos! Knockouts crackle in the streets, children shout “Happy Christmas!”, and the compound smells of jollof rice, suya, and palm wine. But Sir Confusio’s feast takes a bizarre twist…🌟🙋
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😂Main Joke
So Confusio walks into a spot craving suya — that smoky, spicy meat on a stick. He takes one bite… [pause, look at audience] …and realizes, this isn’t suya. He goes, ‘This is su‑ya… don’t‑ever‑put‑this‑in‑your‑mouth.’ The man went from barbecue to betrayal in seconds!"🎄✨🎄 ~ ~ 🎄✨🎄
😩Short Story
Sir Confusio sat at a lively Lagos Christmas feast. Elders poured palm wine, drums echoed, and a servant placed a covered dish before him.
“What is this?” Confusio asked.
“Honey‑soaked bushmeat mice,” the servant replied proudly.
Confusio blinked. “As in… mice?”
“Yes, sir. A tradition of blessing for the new year.”
He poked one with his fork. It jiggled ominously, as if alive.
The elders laughed: “Eat! It brings fortune, like kola nut at weddings!”
Confusio muttered: “I’ll take my chances with misfortune — and stick to the jollof.”
🧐^~Weird History~^😄
Romans really did serve honey‑soaked dormice as a delicacy. Nigeria has bushmeat traditions too, though not usually on Christmas Day. Confusio clearly wasn’t ready for either.
🌹~WhatsApp Skit~🌹
Uncle Tunde: “Confusio, na protein wey go make you strong!”
Confusio: “Strong? That mouse dey look me like landlord.”
Auntie Ngozi: “Eat it, or no extra jollof.”
Confusio: “Better hunger than rodent thunder.”
🦜~Meme Captions~🐧
- “When jollof is life, mice are misfortune.”
- “Confusio vs. Mouse Pie: The battle nobody asked for.”
- “Christmas blessings: suya, palm wine… and squeaks?”
🌟~Wazappo’s Deepfake Distraction~🌟
Wazappo hacked the feast, projecting holograms of giant masquerades chasing Confusio around the compound. Everyone laughed at the illusion, but Confusio screamed, “They’re multiplying!”
🫦~Spinoff Story~🫦
Meanwhile in Snowball Town, Wazappo spread rumors that Confusio was opening a “Mouse Pie Restaurant.” The townsfolk panicked, imagining rodents in every stew.
Confusio grabbed his fork and chased Wazappo through snowy alleys. At last, he cornered him by the frozen fountain.
“Enough illusions!” Confusio shouted.
Wazappo smirked, but the townsfolk rallied behind Confusio, pelting Wazappo with snowballs until his tricks fizzled out.
Snowball Town cheered, declaring, “No more mouse pies — only joy pies!” Confusio sighed in relief, finally tasting peace.
🤠~Lesson for Today~🤠
Not every tradition is meant for every stomach. Wisdom is knowing when to laugh, when to decline, and when to chase the trickster out of town.
🍟~Proverb of the Day~🍟
“The rat that dances in daylight has already borrowed trouble.”
👁️~Poem of the Day ~👁️
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